This promises to be a lighter look at this world that I am plunging myself into, atleast I hope so… it is also a rant. A family which eats (healthy) together, stays (healthy) together and talks (healthy) together. And I understand that all of us need to be careful about what we eat, what we weigh yada yada. But seriously how can that be the main thing that people talk about when I am around.
Fine, I want to look nice on the day I get married. But I want to feel nice about the process too and not as extremely stressed as I do. Because all anyone talks to me is about weight, how to reduce it, how did they themselves reduce it, how did someone else reduce it… how someone cannot reduce it because they don’t have the willpower, how I can’t reduce it coz I am doing something wrong, how I can reduce it if I leave this that and another. Basically all this ‘reduces’ me to feeling obnoxiously unattractive.
How is weight = good looks? Why do I need to be thin to look good next to the man I love and who loves me. how can you be so right about how to lose weight and me so wrong. Seriously I’ve been overweight all my life and I know what looks good on me and what doesn’t. I am not so stupid. I don’t wear clothes that make me look bad ever. You may be brand conscious but hello, I am extremely fashion conscious. So I know when I say that I want something because I understand it will look great on me. Every outfit in my wardrobe is stuff that girls half my size can’t pull off… because I have what they lack. And no amount of weight loss will give them that. The Right Attitude!!
And no, weight doesn’t go in a day, in a week or a month. Who would know this better than someone who has been trying to lose ‘it’ since the days of yonder. I mean I lost my mind, my virginity, my tears everything, but this weight is yet to go. I know I will, when I decide. But please let me do it my way. because even if I am not as waif like as you would like me to be, I still pack a personality that can crush all those perfect manicured, pedicured bleach blond babes.
All this makes me feel that the being healthy shouldn’t be an albatross around your neck. It needs to be the funky pair of pajamas that you wear at night. You just slip into them without discussion, without thinking and without wondering what the world thinks of you. I agree with my dietician on this she says and I try and make this the mantra of my life ‘if a diet or a lifestyle choice is not as normal or background in nature to you as breathing, then it’s not right for you’
It really is fine if I end up weighing 5 kgs more than I should. I would rather be happy about how I am than worried about how thin everyone else is. So yes I am sorry but being too healthy is unhealthy. Because if it makes me feel unattractive or not good enough, I consider it unhealthy for my state of mind.