Something Happy Something Dark

A blanketing hug through the night
The crinkle next to your eye when you smile
Endless kisses that make me giggle
And the warmth of your hand on my thigh
Indelible yet invisible to the naked eye
You’ve marked me as your own.

The darkness that engulfs you, welcomes me in
To join us, to throw us together
Deeper in its folds, it listens to our whispers
It hears of our plans and it giggles
Soaks in sunlight to show us a panorama of grey
it keeps us in. and everyone else out.

(A monologue he said, It sums us up he said)

 

Aro(u)se.

To wake up and know each day that you are the morning prayer on my lips

To wake up and feel you nestled between the stretch of my arms above my head

To wake up and see you hover behind my half shut fluttering eyelids

To wake up and hear you in the rustle of creased bedsheets

To wake up and drink you like the first gulp of water on a parched throat

To wake up and inhale you like fresh morning air with a tinge of few in it

To wake up with you. Everyday.

Intoxication

a daiquiri of desire

a rum of romance

a vodka of vulnerability

a mojito of madness

a wine of words

a martini of moonlit nights

an absinthe of amorousness

a cognac of caresses

a Kirschwasser of kinks

a brandy of brooding silences

a jaggermeister of joy

a sangria of sultriness

an eggnog of ecstasy

an alcohol of your absence

Defining You.

You are

The shiver down my spine

The goosebumps on my arms

The wayward strand kissing my cheek

The idle tattoo of my finger on my thigh

The sleep laden eyelid fluttering down.

And with these

involuntary activities of my body

You possess me

My subconscious notes you down

As you surface like ink under my skin.

Our Truth

(For the one who lies vulnerable with me.)

My words don’t pass muster
Neither does my gaze look deep enough
But your scars still open and bleed in my presence
Those chains tighten around your soul when it flutters
Your secrets fling themselves at me for a hug
Your dark desires are the albatross around my neck
Like a million flowers around a deity

I may be ordinary
Mundane
And with flaws
But my essence flows into the crevices of your being
And I act as tincture to your lacunae.
Admit it.
Or not.

Parwaan.

ishq ka parwaan hi tha wo

haathon mein angaare the

kaha hi nahi kisine

aaj haath jala hai

kal duniya bhi

ishq ka parwaan hi tha wo

hum kehte rahe

tum mere ho

aur unhone sun ke

unsuna kar diya

ishq ka parwaan hi tha wo

duniya ke saare rang

tumhari aankhon mien dikhe

yeh dhyaan hi na raha

ki yeh behoshi ka aalam hai

ishq ka parwaan hi tha wo

ki tum aage bad gayein

aur hum

raaste ke kinaare

tumhara maqbara bana baithe.

aur ab jab paseene ki parat maathe pe hai

aur dil mein kuchh chubhta sa dard

to yaad aaya

mausam badalta hai

to tabiyat kharab hone ka

andesha hota hai.

English Version (on request)

they called it the pinnacle of love

coals in my hand

no one told me

my life would burn next

they called it the pinnacle of love

i kept calling him mine

he listened

and then didn’t

they called it the pinnacle of love

i saw the colors of the rainbow

in his eyes

and forgot

that i was hallucinating

they called it the pinnacle of love

he moved on

and i made a mausoleum

where our paths had crossed

and now as the fever breaks

and my heart follows suit

i realise

changing weather makes me sick.

Ishq -e- Jahannum

usne poochha kabhi jahannum dekha hai?

garmi mehsoos ki hai waha jalti aag ki

tadapna kya hota hai, dozagh mein hi pata chalega

cheekhein niklengi aur koi sunega nahi

aansoo khatam ho jaayenge itna royoge

aur khwabon mein sirf maut ka manzar hoga

 

main hansi aur uski tajjub bhari nazar ko samjhaya

darete ho jahannum ke dard se, 

uski tapish ki duhaai deke sehmate ho

jiss shaks ne ishq ke dard mein raatein bitaayin ho

usko yeh bhi phoolon ka bistar hi lagega

kyonki jahannum mein kam se kam uski yaad to nahi aayegi.

shayad.